Fear: friend or foe?

…if you can’t learn to travel comfortably alongside your fear, then you’ll never be able to go anywhere interesting or do anything interesting

Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic 
Fear friend or foe

Sometimes I have a disturbing nightmare — I see myself in my late eighties, sitting comfortably in a rocking chair, reflecting on the life I missed out on. Now I know — I always deceived myself by thinking I had enough time ahead. I led a mundane existence, swimming with the tide. I let my dreams and aspirations drift by, striving to live up to my duties and responsibilities instead. I failed to seize all the chances the universe had given me. I didn’t take the plunge and I will never be able to turn the clock back…

Why does this fear keep burrowing in my head? Is it trying to tell me something? Should I stop and listen? 

We are used to perceiving things in black and white, labelling them as either good or bad. The same happens to the word ‘fear’, that has acquired an unsavoury reputation for its negative connotation. However, as it turns out, the nature of our fears isn’t as hostile as it seems.


Do you know why they teach us to be careful when we wish for something? The truth is, we are normally unable to manifest our dreams right, because some of them are our false friends whose friendship has been imposed on us. You may ask a question: how can I know what I genuinely wish for? It’s as simple as that — being terrified of doing something is the indicator of what you should do, because it may show you what you wholeheartedly aspire to become or achieve. In other words, fear is just a step you take up the ladder to have a better view of the field where your deepest, dearest and most sincere wishes grow. 

Fear is more than willing to serve you right, you only need to clinch the deal, which specifies your roles in the theatrical performance called ‘Life’s Journey’. Then be ready to stand through thick and thin together, because there is no stronger force than the one that our fears possess. Why be afraid of what you haven’t done yet or haven’t learnt so far? Take your fear gently by the hand and let it lead you to the place of your own, where you’ll get acquainted with the most remarkable person — your true self. And, please, keep in mind: fear is temporary, but regret is forever. 

Text: Alexandra Finyakina